No more damp!

I’m over too tired of all this feeling lonely. Actually I’ve found out that loneliness is a condition of the mind. I have never had a succesful love relationship so far! If i meet a guy that I really like, he’s going to appear to be an idiot, then it’s me the one who puts the end of the relationship. After that I cope with my loneliness (surprizing but seems like I’ve turned out to be stronger than I thought I am) and forget about the ex=boy. I fall in love with another one, who is nice, but the ex one asks me to turn back to him. Now I am no longer in love with him, neither I could do anything with the other one, who after a few months of waiting got another girlfriend. Here’s why “my mind is laughing at me” as Korn sing in one of their songs - “Did my time” Now I not only feel the opposite of lonely, but I also feel I can hardly even breathe after all these unsuccesful relationships. I dislike relationships. I don’t feel sad at all. I actually feel very well now that I finally realise what my faulties are. From now on I’m not going to search the love, I’m just going to live for the moment. If love appears that will be okay, if it doesn’t that won’t bother me at all! And I’d also like to say that Leann Rimes’ song “Can’t fight the moonlight” sucks!!!

 

Sooo lonely…

 

Lately I feel so lonely, that I just can’t find a way out of this black hole. I’ve been searching for love, and right after I’ve decided I finally found it, it just gets rid of me, it slippes through my fingers, and goes on without me! Just passing by to say “hi”… and that hurts. I always fall in love with some idiots who are searching for nothing serious, however one of the guys I’ve fallen in love with(as I now realise) has actually been the only one searching for a true relationship - my ex-boyfriend. I dissagree with his methods of giving some fresh air into a relationship, however the fact he wanted to do so is very interesting thing. Now after the consecutive dissapointment I sit here in my room, lonlier than ever, and I that the relationship with my ex, is actually the  strongest relationship I’ve ever experienced. You would probably ask what my problem is? I cannot fully trust people, I just can not let myself being loved, I just can not believe someone can really love me and be faithful to me, I don’t believe it any more. If love is such a great feeling that beats everything, where is that love? I have never seen it? I don’t know it! I’m searching for it, okay what was the saying “those who search find” , but I didn’t. I see many examples of couples who just get pissed off by each other after a while, and they’re unfaithful, guys are liers, they never say the truth and there’s no way to find out are they faithful to you or not. And do they really like me? Why? What do they like in me?  They never say anything specific, just they like me, “love is blind” , perhaps that’s why it can’t see my desperate efforts to find it. Perhaps I’ve overreacted to the need for love, perhaps I just don’t need it any more, however the more I think about it the lonlier I feel. I cannot even clearly express what exactly I feel, it’s just lonliness, and I feal existencial loneliness - it is such a kind of lonliness, in which a person feel they have lost some bond with the cosmos. I can just sing Linkin Park’s song Numb - “I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there” 

 

Following the greatest ambition… or what do you dream of?

 

I’m sitting in my room and thinking what exactly means to “follow your ambitions”. I mean the greatest ambition of your life. You know - there’s always something that stands in the front row of your list of dreams. Some people say dreams are the most important thing; they even say that you are what your dreams are. And i wonder, isn’t reality more important than dreams? Being happy means to live as a happy person not dreaming about happiness. (You’d probably ask if al dreams make us unhappy, I don’t say dreams make us unhappy I just say they are just dreams, not a realhappiness )  Everyone is makingthe same mistake over and over again - they have big dreams, big ambitions, big plans about becoming a big ass. Where did the small things go?! The small little pleasures that make our day special, not the year, not the moh, just this one day. Then another day, and after that another 30 days. We all follow a golden rule, according to which “Life is the time that passes while we’re planning for the future” Would you really do ANYTHING  in order to make a dream come true? Many people would say “Yes”, but I say “NO” I wouldn’t risk my health, my nerves, my relationships with people I love, my own principles and rules, my self respect, my love just in order to reach something that required those sacrfices.

   Some people dream of living in a big house in California and having a lot of money, but these both cost nothing if you don’t have friends, do not have someone to trust, if you’re not healthy and if you don’t feel happy. You could say that one shouldn’t give up chasing teh Happiness. Yes, I agree that happiness is very very important, but it is deffinetely not something material. It is a condition of your soul, and there is no money, no house, no car that could replace your need for little pleasures, like laughing with friends, for example. You just think money is not enough and want more and more, then you become rich, but you don’t know what to do with all this money. Many people would choose to live in luxury rather than give to charities, but if you make a donation for a house with orphans, and then you come back to that house, the kids smile at you and you see how you’ve given hope. Do you now care about the “S-class” you didn’t buy? No, because now you feel a better person, you feel useful. No car could replace this feeling.

   Then you say: “All my life I’ve wanted to have an “S-class”, but you accidently came upon these children who needed your support. When you were planning to get rich enough to buy an “S-class” did you plan that? Probably not, because the best things cannot be planned. You should just feel what makes you happy and go for it, not ignore it and sacrifice it for the following of some dream. One should live for the moment, not in the future, because there will always be “tomorrow”, but in a few hours “today” is going to be a history and you’ll be sorry you didn’t just enjoy it…

 

The Hidden Power - Something instead of pre-history

What is a salamander? Most people would say it is a kind of lizard that comes up when it’s rainy - a species of the triturus family.

Other people say they’ve heard legends about it - “the fire spirit”

No-one actually knows these creatures. Here are some facts:

A salamander is the only vertebrate that can rehabilitate entirely any part of its body(except, of course, its head). It is the only animal that can not be killed by fire. Its skin produces some special poisonous fliud that not only protects him very well from the predators, it is a real mystery for the biologists how this fluid actually doesn’t allow the fire burn its skin. The only species on this planet that can pass through the fire - “The Fire Spirit” as some tribes in Australia call it.  As having such characteristics, the animal has turned into a symbol. It is a symbol of the surviving and rehabilitation, a symbol of the passage to something better, a symbol of evolution. And, of course, just as many other things that people found different and unexplainable there are legends about it… well, not about the salamander as we know it nowadays. The legends describe that it has the tipical body of amphibious, with a structure that looks just like the salamandridae(or triturus family), with the only different that it had wings, and they also gave the “fire spirit” the name “a dragon”. Do you now make up your mind of any legends about the salamander-like creature? Aww, yeah there are thousands of legends.  But as many historitians do, we should also think - “Is there something behind the legend?” We should consider that the legend about Vlad Dracula actually made medics find the sun allergy, and a disiase in which the patient wants to drink blood, now all this is explained and healed with special drugs, but in the past it was just an unexplainable fact hidden behind a fascinating legend.

This is a satelite-made picture of the so called “Dragon Mountaines” in “Republic of South Africa”(the blue lines are not real, they’re drawn in order for the dragon to be better seen, however the shape of the mountain is real

geologists are sure there should be a proper explanation about this phenomenon, howevere they’ve not found any And this bellow is a picture of a salamander, can you see the likeness between these both?

 

Welcome home!

Christiana Vylcheva, Nasya Nenova, Valentina Siropulo, Valya Chervenyashka, Snezjana Dimitrova, d-r Ashraf Ahmad Dzjum’a, and d-r Zdravko Georgiev - WELCOME HOME!

This prooves that when we are united all together no-one can beat us  Special admirations to Cecillia Sarkozy, who is a very beautiful and very intelligent active woman who went to Lybia with the “Republique Francaise” president’s private airoplane, negotiated with Muammar Al  Gaddafi and never gave up untill he approved the medics’  transfer to Bulgaria, after which she just brought them home!  Of course we should greet Benita Ferrero Valder who also helped very very much, and Sheikh Hamad bin Khalifa - sheikh of Katar for their support!

 

How hot is the hell?

I devote this post to all the people who are responsible for a greatest tragedy in Lybia and don’t bare any responsibility for their deeds - instead other( INNOCENT)  people suffer for them! Dear unresponsible idiots - hope you’re happy now!

What is the hell? Is it a place? And if it is place what’s so specific in that place - the condition of your soul while you’re there. So is the place so important? The answer is no! The hell is a condition of your spirit, mind and soul! Can you imagine so many children who will grow up and form their individuality under the pressure of the fact that they could die at any moment, can you imagine what people would become of those who are being raised in hospitals, does hope lives in the hospitals? NO! and what if the hope is being taken away from the kids while they’re forming they’re characters? What kind of people would become of that? People who are everyday close to death, desparate people who mistrust everything they have believed at! This is hell.  And if sooo many kids are forced to travel trough hell - that is called a tragedy!

If you’ve been prisoned for sircumstances you couldn’t ever change and you’re innocent, but still being tortured in many ways you couldn’t ever imagine before just in order to say you’re responsible for such a great tragedy, if hope have been taken from you, if you have missed the growth of your children, if your body, mind and soul hate the conditions you are - that is also called hell! And then finally someone desides you should die, but all the people around the globe fight for you and finally the fight is won - the capital sentenses are taken off you, but they tell you you should spend you’re whole life in this hell you’ve been living for several years. Then suddenly everyone becomes very happy for you! If I was given such a sentence - I would suicide! Honestny! What would you peopel do? Living in thehell and then someone tells you that you will get out of there only dead?  And what abot the children who grow up between life and death without any hope? Almost 400 children and 6 Bulgarians in Lybia live in hell right now! And who is responsible for that? I don’t know, but there are proofs that the Bg medics are INNOCENT They’re victims just like the diseased children. So many countries help those kids live normal lives with their AIDS, but what can we do to help the Bulgarians? Should we leave them in the hell? No matter whether Lybia would allow their transport to Bg we would never stop fitghting as we fought for their lives. Now we should fight for their souls, and we can’t just leave them there in the hell! Those who are responsible for the law hygiene in the hospitals in Lybia, should finally do something to at least support the innocent medics.

You know, I wanted to write a very sensfull post but so many emotions come to me right now that I don’t even think I wrote something sensfull. However one thing I’d like to say to all people in Lybia who liek to say “If Allah says so…” I’m not religous but I have met one very interesting statment on one painting that I saw on Discovery or History channel (I don’t remember) :  “HIS ARM GIVES EVERYONE WHAT THEY DESERVE!”

 

The hidden power, part 1

 

It was 8 a.m. and I was just about to pick up the morning paper when I saw a knife lying on the lawn, in the middle of my front yard!

I went back into the house to call the police. I felt something very strange… some kind of anxiety I couldn’t explain. I dialed 911 and explained about the strange knife infront of my house(there was no blood on it). The cops said they’d be here in an hour. When I was just about to put the receiver back I heard a strange cracking from the phone line. Someone had eavesdropped my conversation with the police! Then I heard some very law noise from the second floor. The one that has eavsedropped my conversation was in my house! Perhaps he was a murderer who didn’t succed to run away in time and decided to hide in my house, or had he come for me?! I rushed outside, but suddenly I realised the door was locked! How On Earth could someone be upstairs and succed in locking the door at the same time?! Or was he just one? I rang the neighbour and told him I couldn’t go out with him tonight, for I was very very tired, then I lied on the sofa and pretended to be asleep. Then I just waited…

After almost half an hour I heard steps coming down the stairs. Someone was coming. He suddenly whispered my name, but I didn’t react, I was just pretending to be asleep and watching him with a half-closed eye. Then a woman appeared. Seems like she had the same name as me, because the man called her again. She turned to him and asked:

“What are we going to do with her?”

“She is not a threat for us for now, the old which who protected her is now gone, we can catch her at any time! That stupid crazy woman shouldn’t use magic against me! It’s good I at least managed to take the knife”

“Did you use it?”

“Yes”

“You used magic again?! Are you crazy, what if someone had felt us?”

“I’m sure no-one felt our presence, and even if they did we will be out of town in a few minutes”

“The power of the knife is just temporarily. Perhaps it is already exhausted”

“Don’t worry, I got the salamander in me. This stupid old which couldn’t protect even an egg! Hahaha!”

“Good. Did you use the power of the salamander?”

“No, not yet, I’m too tired for such a thing, and its heir is still alive, too close, the salamander wouldn’t obey to me!”

“I don’t get it! She is sleeping, let’s finish her now!”

“No, don’t dare touch her! Are you mad?! The salamander is hot, if we attack her, this stupid thing will automaticly pour its powers into her! That’s just the opposite of what we want! We’ll leave her for now! Let’s get out of here!”

They went out of my house, but I didn’t even noticed, I stood like i couldn’tmove and I just felt some strong fire that was burning me from the inside! I suddenly felt a tremendous power! I was hot, too hot, my senses could concept things I’d never felt before. Then something suddenly just like grabbed me and made me go after the strange people! Something I couldn’t fight, something that was calling me…

 

Good night!

 

Informational flood?

 

Many people who want to be taken for very smart and wise say: “Knowledge hurts”. I wonder why. I have always believed knowledge is a power. There is a saying: “Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies even closer” The more you know about something or someone the better you know how to deal with it, how to win in a difficult situation, how to influence. That’s why knowledge is a power. But we’re all used to choosing what to know. If we don’t understand something, or if it seems to contradict to our point of view about the universe we just avoid it. That can be said abot our conceptions for everything. We could see only 40% of the sun’s radiation - the so called visible light. The other 60% are ultraviolet and infrared beams we don’t see. We don’t hear the infrasound and ultrasound. We don’t comprehend things that are beyond our senses… but they exist. We don’t even understand fully any relligion, the brain even has the ability to forget in order to save its functions. Perhaps the data that our brain stores is something so important that it should be stored very very carefully. We use only a small percent of our brains’ ability to store information, and even it is sometimes deleted in order to prevent some bad consequenses. But what would happen if we were forced to comprehend all of the data in the world? It is all a great web of concepts and the more we know the more we stick on this web untill our brain just refuses to work. Have you ever herad of a situation in which many surprizing facts come out and someone say “Wow, that was so spontanous I need some time to comprehend all this!”  So, do we live better as we don’t comprehend a great part of the world’s data or would we live better if we try to fully understand everything? In this point could we use the concept “informational flood”? How do you think? We live in the 21 century. The 20th century was the one of technologies, but the 21 century is the time of information, concepts, personality growing. A whole lot of writers describe unexplainable things, they write about very sophisticated matter trying to represent it in a simple way, many directors create films for the (scary?) future, philosophy becomes a greater science than ever, all kinds of stuff are trying to be understood, everyone tries to become wiser(all in their own way). They all take the beginning of a lifelong journey, a journey that would end when they understand everything that could be understood - never. “Informational flood” - that could be the new global problem of the 21st century society. And it’s just the beginning…

 

To everyone who is not afraid of being responsible… for others

Here is one of those situations that require a lot of wisdom in order to be solved:

Emagine a very good friend of yours decides to commit a suicide and wants to do it with pills. You are the best friend of his and you love this person very much(he loves you too) That’s why you are the only whom he tells his plans. He also asks you to give him find those pills for him(he couldn’t find them anywhere).What would you do? Would you do everything in order to save his life, or help him?(you’re supposed to be his closest person)I think you should first answer some questions for yourself. Why does he want to suicide? Why is he asking you for assistance, and do you have the power to decide who lives and who dies. Let’s think over the first one. Why do people suicide? This is one of those question that could be answered with the very popular phrase “Love Conqueres Everything!” Everything that could be so scary, or unbearable could be made better if there was more love! Think over that, find examples for yourself about different kinds of reasons that make people suicide and you’ll see all those peopel just needed more love! And now let’s answer the second question. Why does your friend tell you all of his plans, why is he telling you? Could that mean an appeal to you, that should attract you, and make you pay more attention to this person? As his closest friendyou’re supposed to be really loved by this person. Here comes again the question about love, care and everything we do for thosew who we love. Think about that!

Are you ready? Now we can go to the third question. Do you have the right to decide who lives and who dies? Do you have any choice? Thetruth is taht as his closest person you have a tremendous influence over this person and “With th egreat power comes the great responsibility!” Of course you have the power to decide who lives and who dies if this is a matter of someone who you love! People have created gods to take the responsibility of their own deeds instead of them, and let alone the responsibility for other people! I would try to do my best in order to heal this person, and remove the reason that makes him suicide. I would make him feel loved. Ok, I’m sure you have already thought about another very similar situatin. Someone tells you he’s going to suicide if you don’t come back to him, because he loves you very much, but you don’t love him any more. Then would you sacrifice your love, your life and your happines just to save someone’s life? And can we call this love? It may sound nasty but I wouldn’t sacrifice my love, happyness and lifetime in order to fall in somebody’s trap just to save his life. In that case this is a person who perhaps isn’t grown enough to face the real life and cope with his own feelings. the choice is his only! In teh first case when you love the person then you are responsible! That’s the difference. You remmember what the fox says to teh Little Prince - “You’re responsible for what you tame”. And what if you find yourself in the second situation? Are you still responsible for the fact that this person is going to suicide!? I’d liek to change the phrase of the fox - “You are responsible for those who you love!”